


Born to survive

by Polarnacht



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love, M/M, Multi, Smut, Torture, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:34:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21719242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polarnacht/pseuds/Polarnacht
Summary: Valentine’s attempt to wipe out the entire Downworld let to an Alliance between Clave and Downworld. Together they managed to destroy his army and kill Valentine. What could be the dawn of a new, better era  - wasn’t. It was the beginning of the enslavement of part of the Shadow World. Circle Members were hunted down mercilessly and killed or enslaved, leaving a lot kids without parents. Orphanages, which had only one goal, to train young Shadowhunters into obedient killing machines and play toys, were common practice. Powerful warlocks and Clave members ruled over these training camps showing no mercy to the young kids. The Shadow World was divided again, a lot Downworlders and Shadowhunters not supporting the new, harsh regime.Jonathan, son of the Circle member Michael Wayland, was 8 when he was orphaned and thrown into the system of killing or being killed.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 32
Kudos: 76





	1. Endless Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, 
> 
> this will be a darker story, so make sure to check the tags first. The story will feature Jalec, Malec and also Malace.  
> In this world, Jace is older than Alec, just to let you know...
> 
> I hope you'll like it!

One of the first things Jonathan lost when his father died and he was thrown in the orphanage system of the Dark Alliance of Warlocks and Clave, was his name. The warlock who ran the orphanage always renamed his newcomers, to remind them that they were not longer the persons they used to be before, to remind them that they now were owned. Jonathan became Jace. Stripped of all his personal belongings and his identity, he was let in a room full of other kids, mostly boys but also some girls. They differed in age and capability, some wearing already permanent runes, some barely older than toddlers. All had one thing in common: Their parents had been Circle Members, followers of Valentine. Most often their parents were dead; some were alive, but enslaved or imprisoned.

The other kids measured the newest inmate, judging if he was a thread or someone they could bully. Most of the time it was easy to tell how long one had already lived in the orphanage. The longer, the less human their eyes were, the more distant their glare, the more brutal their behavior. Jace was rather small for his age, but already runed and well trained, unusually muscled for a boy of 8. He was terrified, of course he was, but determined to not let it show. He instinctively knew that weakness and vulnerability was not something valued here. Thanks to his father’s training, he was good at suppressing his feelings. So when one of the older boys tried to attack him, he fought back without hesitating, hitting the other boy as hard as he could. Unfortunately the other boy crashed into a chair, making a loud noise, causing the guards to show up in a second.

Both boys were dragged to the warlock who owned the place, Malcom Fade, as Jace learned that day. Jace could not tell if the warlock was more pissed or more delighted. He was definitely angry because they had caused trouble, but he was also very delighted to have an excuse to set up a real fight – not that he needed an excuse, but it was nice to have one anyway.

So the second thing Jace lost was his innocence. Not that Jace had ever been a truly, completely innocent boy, being Michael Wayland’s son, second in command to Valentine. But this here was something entirely else. The fight Fade proclaimed was one for life or death. The rules were as simple as harsh: Kill or die. The other boy was older, 11 or 12 years old, and at least one head taller than Jace. Jace saw the grim determination in the boy’s eyes and he knew that he had to fight harder than ever before. He knew that he had to kill for the first time in his young life. He had killed demons, but never another Shadowhunter, yet a kid. But he knew he wanted to survive. He silently thanked his father for the relentless training sessions he had had to endure, for the skills his father had taught him with every kind of weapon.

When Jace was honest with himself, the worst part was probably not the killing itself. He had seen the face of the boy and without a doubt that boy would kill him within seconds and without second thoughts if he let him. So he would just fight back. The worst part were the spectators surrounding them, cheering and laughing. The boys were in a fighting ring, surrounded by a magical shield to prevent them from escaping. The spectators, most of them warlocks, but also the occasional Shadowhunter, werewolf or Seelie, were seated around them. Bets were placed and money exchanged, the air humming from excitement. They couldn’t wait to see two boys fight each other to death. It was sickening.

Jace’s biggest advantage was that the other boy underestimated him. The other one had been at the orphanage for quite a long time and won several fights before, and he was older and taller. But Jace was like a pit bull, small but strong. And he wasn’t above fighting dirty. The fight started, both boys lashing out at each other, trying to get the upper hand. The other boy was rather skilled with his blade, but so was Jace. He was able to counter every blow with his own blade, even cut the other once or twice. But Jace realized that in the long run the other one would win, just due to his better physics. So he let the other boy attack him to give him a sense of superiority and lull him in a false sense of security. Suddenly Jace let himself fall to the ground, grabbing some sand and dirt from the ground and throwing it at the face of the older one. With one swift jump Jace was on his feet again. Deprived of his sight, the other boy didn’t see the final blow coming, he didn’t see the blade entering his chest. With a gurgling noise, the boy fell to the ground, taking in his final breath and coloring the ground around him in a deep red. Jace had won. But, deep down, he knew he had also lost.

After that, Jace was accepted among the other kids, no one messed with him again. Soon Jace realized that there was a coming and going among the children. The younger kids were sent away rather quickly, the older ones which were not capable fighters were either sent away or used as cannon fodder for the better ones. The rumors were that the latter was the better option, as it was said that the others were sold to secret brothels or worse.

To prevent the children from escaping, Malcom Fade had invented a special collar which was infused with magic. The collar controlled the children, the warlocks were able to trace their whereabouts through it and it prevented them from fleeing. The orphanage was part of a huge, military like complex with training areas and drill-grounds, Fade and some warlock and Shadowhunter friends also lived there. Around the whole area powerful wards had been put in place. If one of the children ever dared to cross the invisible fence, they would be grilled alive by the magic in the collar. Occasionally, Fade demonstrated this by throwing a nearly deadly wounded or in another way expandable child into the fence, making everyone watch. The collars could only be removed by a warlock, and not any warlock but only the more powerful ones. The only way for the children to get away was with permission – or when they were sold. When they left for a mission, the collars bounded them to the warlock or Shadowhunter who accompanied them, forcing them to stay close to their guard. If the distance between them was getting too big, it started with an ever increasing pain, leading to death at the end. Jace had witnessed it several times, most often the children had not been able to keep up the pace due to injuries, the guards most often didn’t care about it and left them behind anyway.

The boys were not only used for kill fights to amuse an audience, they were also trained in various fighting techniques. The best of them were supposed to become bodyguards or members of private armies. But they didn’t only learn how to fight, they were also taught history lessons, to show them what scum they were and to brainwash them. Jace could tell that they succeeded with various boys and girls. Some believed everything they heard and followed their owners blindly. Others, like him, could preserve a rest of their former self.

Jace didn’t mind the fighting sessions, he even kind of liked it. He was an exceptional fighter, what he lacked in age and tallness, he compensated with speed, skill and ruthlessness. His father had raised him with a hard hand, trained him to be a fearless warrior from the beginning, things which came in handy and helped Jace to survive. Even though Jace tried to play by the rules, he got – as the others – punished frequently. The worst punishments came from the guards who enjoyed giving them, they always made sure to add an extra twist and drag the beatings out longer than necessary. They wanted to see the boys break. Jace endured the ordeals as good as he could, trying not to give the others the satisfaction of him begging or crying. Of course, sometimes the pain was too severe and he couldn’t help the tears streaming down his face, but he only ever cried out of physical pain and only if he really could not suppress them. He never cried in front of the other children.  
Jace was soon someone the other children accepted and feared at the same time.

When Jace turned 12, he was one of the strongest fighters in the orphanage. He mostly kept to himself – what use was it to make friends when they could be sold anytime or, worse, you would be forced to fight each other to death? But the death fights had become less frequent, a new dread was hanging over the Shadow World, the dread of Jonathan Morgenstern, the son of Valentine. He had threatened them to seek revenge for the death of his father. So far it was a distant threat, but the warlocks were cautious and tried to build their private armies faster – and therefore stopped killing so many kids just for fun.

There were also less children coming in, as most former Circle Members had been captured already. Most children now coming in were small ones, results of rapes of enslaved women or their mothers were prostitutes in one of the many brothels.  
Therefore Jace was rather surprised when a new boy came to live with them. He was dark haired, tall and had warm, hazel eyes – something which would change soon Jace assumed sadly. Nearly all older kids had the same distant and lost expression in their eyes, something Jace was sure was also reflected in his gaze. He knew he had sworn to himself to survive, but survive for what? Sometimes he doubted life was worth the trouble.

The boy’s name was Alec and of course the other’s tried to figure out what kind of boy he was. He was lean but muscular and rather tall – something which made the other kids a bit weary and hold them back, at least at first. He was a bit younger than Jace, 10 or 11 maybe. As the bed next to his’ was empty, the boy formerly occupying it had died during a demon hunt, Alec took this place. As the others he had no belongings of his own, only wearing a faded shirt and jeans. You could tell that the boy was fighting really hard to keep it together. He surely must have learned about the orphanages and their purpose, this one being not the only one and they were officially tolerated by both the Clave and the Downworld Alliance.

He was also already collared, which meant Malcom Fade was planning to keep him. Fade didn’t bother to collar the ones he sold away quickly, too much trouble - making the collars was not that simple, the amount of magic needed immense.

When the night fell, Alec curled up in his bed, covering himself with the thin, nearly see-through blanket which gave close to no protection to the coldness sipping through the walls. Jace assumed none of the children could recall the feeling of being really warm. In the living quarters fire places existed and heating, but for the kids this was not deemed necessary. At first, Jace thought that Alec was shivering due to the cold, but he soon realized that the boy was crying. Silently, but nevertheless a dangerous thing to do. If Jace could tell, the others would eventually notice too. And a sign of weakness was not something you wanted to show that early on.

Jace actually didn’t know why he bothered at all, but strangely he did. Therefore he extended one arm over to the boy, patting clumsily the back of the boy, trying to sooth him before the others caught up. Alec shifted slightly in his bed, laying to face Jace. They locked eyes and before Alec could say anything, Jace hold his index finger to his mouth, shaking his head. No talking. Alec nodded and closed his eyes, clearly thankful for the unexpected affection he had gotten from Jace.

The next morning when Jace came back from his first training session, he found the kids grouped around the new boy. He stood with his back against the wall, hands clenched into fists, a determined expression in his eyes. Jace walked closer to get a better understanding what was going on. Apparently Alec had been able to smuggle in a small pendant – Jace's respect for the boy increased tremendously. Unfortunately the others had noticed it and tried now to steal it from him. But Alec was not ready to hand it over without a fight. Three of the older boys lunged at him at once. Alec was a skilled fighter, Jace could see that in an instant. He had one boy down before the other had really realized what was going on, but two against one was still unbalanced. Jace watched for a couple of minutes to see where it would end – and also to let Alec proof to the others that he was not fair game. When he had seen enough, he stepped between the other boys. “Enough” he commanded. The others were stunned, Jace never bothered to get into their quarrels. But they were all also a bit afraid of him, everyone had seen his skills and also his readiness to kill if need be. “Two against one is not a fair match, what are we – animals? If you want you two can fight against me and the new boy. If not – get back to your own shit.” While speaking Jace had flexed his impressive muscles, looking at them with a deadly glare. No one wanted to fight against Jace, so the others backed off. Jace turned around to glare at Alec, an annoyed look on his face to hide any other emotion he might feel. The other one looked back at him. Instead of a thank you, which Jace had somehow expected, he only got an angry “I can handle myself and need no protector.” Jace just laughed, the answer very much to his liking. He extended a hand to the boy, which the other took after hesitating a second.

Alec had been wrong. He needed a guardian. 10 years he had grown up in a real family with parents and siblings. Even though his parents hadn’t been the most loving ones, they always had treated him with respect and affection, cool affection but yet. He had never been corporally punished or mistreated. And he had had his siblings who had loved him fiercely and he had loved them back. Now he was alone, he didn’t know what had happened to his parents or his brother and sister. One day, men had stormed into his house and taken him. He had been alone at that moment, so he just hoped that the rest of his family was safe.

Nothing had prepared Alec for his time in the orphanage. He had no problems with fighting in general, but he had problems with punishing others or fighting inferiors, all things the warlocks asked of him. When he refused or did a poor job at it, he was punished himself. He was not used to the pain they inflected on him, he nearly could not bear it – but he just could not bring himself to go against his inner beliefs. If it weren’t for Jace, Alec had been lost.

After their first encounter Jace had made it clear in a subtle way that he would not tolerate messing with Alec. Fair fights – so be it, but everything else Jace would prevent. So thanks to Jace, the other kids kept their distance to Alec and let him be. While Jace had tried to keep away from every other kid, he was not able to stay away from Alec. He was intrigued by the younger boy. Alec had an innocence and a pureness about him, Jace had never seen in someone else and surely had never possessed himself. Even if their prison keepers did their best, they were not able to beat this pureness out of Alec.

Slowly, the unequal pair of boys became friends. Jace was not used to let someone in and show his true feelings or even his insecurities. Despite everything he had thought and learned, he found it comforting to tell Alec what was going on in his mind. He started with small things, as if to see if the other earned his trust. When Alec showed nothing but support and never used anything he heard against Jace, he slowly opened up more. So while everyone else just got to see Jace’s outer mask, the cocky and arrogant attitude Jace had mastered over the years, Alec got to see a softer, more vulnerable side. There was one smile Jace only ever smiled when he and Alec were alone, a smile which could light up an entire room. Alec himself was glad to have someone to rely on, to protect him from the worst in the orphanage: the loneliness. Thanks to Jace he was able to remember who he was regardless the tournaments he had to endure, as he was able to tell Jace about his former life, about the things he cared about.

Weeks turned into months and months into years. They had settled in, the warlocks had realized that the two boys fought better together and therefore they were able to spend a lot of time together. Jace could be nearly happy, if not his 16th birthday was coming up soon. As everyone else in the orphanage, Jace dreaded his 16th birthday. Jace had always wondered why Malcom Fade had such strict rules in place, but he was glad he did. No one was allowed to have sex with a child under 16, a rule Fade supervised strictly and punished harshly when disobeyed. So everyone complied. But when someone turned 16, they were fair game and given to the soldiers and others in the service of the warlocks as a reward or means of payment – or the warlocks developed an interest on their own. Fade never did, he had a strange obsession with his dead ex girlfriend, Annabelle, who had been killed by the Circle some years ago. Jace assumed it was one of the reasons Fade acted so merciless towards the children of former Circle members.

Jace was very well aware of his looks and body. He registered the hungry looks the guards gave him when he trained half naked or the greedy looks of his torturers when he lay in front of them covered in blood. He knew what was going to happen on his birthday. But he dreaded it nevertheless. He had never been intimate with anyone, except a few, shy and mostly completely innocent kisses with Alec. He was by no means prepared for the pain and humiliation he felt when at the evening of his birthday two men had come to collect him. Jace knew better but he fought them anyway. The men only laughed at him, even enjoying the physical quarrel. When Jace realized that Alec would fight with him, he gave in and let the men drag him out of the room, not wanting Alec to suffer on his behalf. The whole way he was dragged out of the room, he looked into his friend’s eyes, Alec’s steady gaze never leaving his, not once wavering, giving Jace the strength to survive the next hours.

When the men were done with him, Jace was not able to walk. He was not able to speak, as his throat was too hoarse from his screams and the abuse he had to endure. He was not able to do anything, the pain in his lower body too severe. The men dragged him back to his room, throwing him in like garbage. As soon as the door closed, strong arms lifted him from the floor and he was placed carefully on his bed. The first time in his life at the orphanage, Jace let himself cry. His head buried deep in the neck of his only friend he cried and cried till no tear was left inside him. Dry sobs were still coming from him when he finally turned his gaze up to Alec. “They broke me Alec, I think they really broke me.” Alec tightened his strong hold around the older boy, roles suddenly reversed. “No they haven’t, Jace. You are still you and you ever will be. You are the strongest person I have ever met and I know you are way stronger than them.” Jace was not so sure, but he wanted to believe Alec. He hadn’t come so far than to give up now. Alec’s gentle hands running over his abused body soothed him, bringing back feeling to his numb body. Slowly Alec pulled him down, spooning him from behind, never letting go. Curled into each other, they fell asleep.

Alec had been right, it didn’t break Jace. With Alec by his side, he was able to handle this new situation. The possibility to talk to someone and find comfort, emotional and physical, was Jace’s lifeline. Soon Jace discovered that his body gave him a certain leverage. It was way better to have one powerful suitor than to be given from one person to the next. Jace had always been skillful and he knew which persons liked his cockiness, so he started to seduce the second powerful warlock in this facility, Merlon. If he was able to become the warlock’s “property”, no one else would touch him. And Jace being Jace, he succeeded finally.

“He is actually not that bad Alec. At least he is not into torture, sometimes he gives me extra food and stuff. And as he doesn’t like to share, he made it quite clear that no one else is allowed to have me”. Alec just looked at him, with the sad and understanding look in his eyes Jace loved and hated at the same time. It was true that he hated being with the warlock, he hated that he had no choice in it. What he hated even more was that sometimes his body betrayed him and he even had orgasms. He could not tell how much he hated that, giving the warlock the feeling of having pleasured him. But it was the best he could achieve in an impossible situation, so why dwell about it? He would survive, as he always had.

But as much as he was sure to survive, he was also sure Alec wouldn’t. Physically, yes, but he was sure that Alec would finally loose the innocence he had still been able to protect. So he needed to find a solution, he needed to make the impossible possible. Mercifully Alec was younger than Jace, even if only by around a year. 11 months were left to come up with a plan and make it happen. Much in the normal world, not so much in the restricted world of the orphanage.

At the beginning Jace had feared that him being raped constantly would drew Alec and him apart. But to the contrary, they grew even closer. Jace sought even more physical closeness – Alec more than happy to give it. Yet Jace was surprised when Alec, after a long, dangerous mission they barely survived, kissed him, properly this time. Jace was glad to lay on the bed already, he was not sure if his feet would have still carried him. Alec kissed him like he was the only human left on earth, he kissed him with all his heart and soul, he kissed him like Jace was worth it. Jace could do nothing more but kiss back, trying to put as much feeling inside the kiss as Alec did. When they eventually broke apart, they just lay there, looking at each other till they kissed again, kissed away the horror around them.

From that one, their relationship developed pretty quickly. When Alec told Jace he loved him for the first time, Jace was so overwhelmed, he couldn’t say it back. But Alec understood anyway. He knew it through the way Jace cared for him, kissed him and made love to him. Alec had been hesitant at first, not knowing if Jace even wanted sex after the brutality he had to endure nearly daily, but he soon realized that Jace wanted. Jace needed to have the control, which Alec completely understood. Jace was forced to endure sex all the time, not being allowed to say no to anything, so he understood that Jace needed now to be the dominant part. And Alec didn’t mind at all being dominated by Jace, as Jace was nothing but gentle and caring. Both boys were astonished that their bodies which had brought them merely pain so far in their lives, could bring them so much pleasure and joy. So Alec understood that Jace loved him without hearing the words; but when Jace finally told him he did while being buried deep inside him, Alec was overwhelmed nevertheless, tears coming to his eyes. Both boys knew that they would never stop loving each other.

With his new and intense feelings for Alec Jace was even surer to protect Alec from what was to come. He already had a plan. The only way out was his warlock suitor. He was powerful enough to get the collar deactivated. The warlock had a severe crush on Jace and Jace planned to use this to his favor. He started to slowly show more affection towards the warlock, always careful not to rush things, to not make the warlock suspicious. At the beginning he had shown clearly his dislike and unwillingness. He started with small things: Smiling from time to time at Merlon, looking in his eyes, listening carefully to what he said and asking questions. Jace had realized quite quickly that listening and showing interest was really important. He couldn’t care less what the warlock was thinking or doing, but he got really talented in not showing it and faking interest. The warlock was hooked. After the first phase, Jace started to show more physical interest, touching the warlock and showing pleasure. It worked surprisingly well. Six months later he had twirled Merlon around his little finger.

Merlon was a rather possessive character, which played perfectly in Jace’s hands. He started to mention that others were interested in him and that he couldn’t live with that. Slowly pushing the warlock in the right direction, Jace made sure that the warlock believed that in the end it was all his, Merlon’s, doing and his plan. It took another 2 months for the warlock to come up with a device to deactivate the collar. Once put to the collar, the magic in the device would disable the magic in the collar, setting the owner free. At first Merlon wanted simply to free Jace with his own hands, but Jace had been able to convince him that this was not a good idea. The wrath of Malcom was to fear as he wanted to keep his best fighter – therefore he thankfully had also refused to sell Jace to Merlon in the first place.

Jace asked the warlock for two devices, to free himself and Alec. Of course the warlock refused. Jace sighed, but he had expected that.

The final part was most definitely the hardest. Jace had to say goodbye to Alec, without him realizing it. Jace and Merlon had set up a date where a lot of guards were away on a mission, including Fade and Merlon himself, so no one would suspect Merlon (which Jace couldn’t care less about, but he had to hold up his cover). Jace had been given an address of a place nearby where food and weapons were stashed and for later the address of a save house. The date was in three months from then, 1 month before Alec’s 16th birthday. It should work.

The closer the day came, the more nervous and desperate Jace got. He tried to show Alec in every way possible how much he loved him, how much he cared for him – and sucked in in return every feeling of warmth and affection he got from his lover. He knew it had to last a very long time. Alec noticed that something was off with Jace, but in the beginning Jace didn’t dare share his plan. Not because he didn’t trust Alec, he trusted Alec with his life and more importantly, with his heart and soul. But he didn’t want to get Alec’s hopes up and later on he was afraid of being overheard. The day of the escape came closer and Jace was laying beside Alec, kissing him for dear life. Alec pushed him away, gentle but firm. “You need to tell me what is going on, Jace.” This time, Jace couldn’t defy the pleading look in Alec’s eyes and told him everything. Well, nearly everything. He kept quiet about the fact, that the device would work only once. Alec was excited beyond measure, finally a silver lining on the horizon, a way to get out of the hell they called home. Jace told Alec exactly the whereabouts of the hiding place for the weapons and food. As Alec knew that Jace had no intend on going with the warlock, they were able to make plans where to go from there. Alec’s parents had had friend in Idris, they would try to get there together to seek protection and maybe they would even find Alec’s family, if they were still out there. That was at least what Alec believed.

The night before the escape, they made love like they had never before, melting into each other, holding each other and claiming each other like it was their last time. Jace was close to tears, barely able to suppress them, knowing that most probably it would be. Their last time. Forever. Alec was also weary, but for different reasons. He simply feared anything would go wrong.

When the night fell of the day of the escape, the boys readied themselves. They put on all clothes possible without attracting attention. Jace asked Alec tentatively if he could have his arrow, the small pendant over which they had gotten to know each other in the beginning. “You get it back on the other side, but I would like to have it as a talisman.” Of course Alec gave the arrow to Jace, kissing the arrow and then kissing Jace thoroughly, with all his heart like he always did. “I love you Alec, I need you to know that. I love you more than my own life” “I love you too, Jace. You are my everything.”

With that, they left silently their room for good. It was surprisingly easy to get out of the facility. They only had to cross the military training ground to reach the invisible magic barrier. They were close by when the boys heard the shouts of some guards. Someone had seen them. Running even faster, the boys reached the wards. Quickly Jace got the device out, holding it to Alec’s collar. Both boys held their breath – but it worked. The collar fell open and Alec was free. Alec saw the attackers coming nearer, they were really close now. He wanted to scream at Jace to hurry up, when Jace suddenly crapped his jacket. “Forgive me Alec, please forgive me!” He threw Alec through the invisible fence. Alec fell to the ground, not having expected that When the realization came, Alec was paralyzed and looked at Jace in horror. Even if Alec wanted, he could not go back, the wards would not let him in again. One last time the lovers looked into each other’s eyes and then Jace turned around, tears streaming down his face. It didn’t matter, nothing mattered. Jace threw himself at the attackers, trying to buy Alec enough time to escape. Even though Alec hated himself for it, he gave in and run away as fast as he could, determined to make Jace’s sacrifice worth it. Jace hoped that Alec would be able to forgive him. He was honest, if Alec had done the same to him – rescuing him, Jace, and staying behind in this hellhole – he didn’t know if he ever forgave him that. So Jace didn’t care what would happen to him now, he didn’t mind the hot tears still running down his cheeks, he just fought like a maniac to protect Alec one more time.

It was the second time in all his years in the orphanage Jace allowed himself to cry. And his last.


	2. Daybreak

5 years later

The Clave was still divided, the two different wings fighting for dominance. One side wanted to make peace with the former Circle Members and their descendants and end the slavery, the other wanted to keep the current situation. The Downworld was not better off, also here a deep cut running through it. There were powerful supporters on both sides. Currently they had settled in a kind of truce, the Dark Alliance not expending their slavery system, the White Alliance tolerating the setting. Both sides kept to themselves. Most probably it would have gone on like that, if not the threat of Valentine’s son, Jonathan Morgenstern, was growing more intense and could no longer be ignored. They needed to negotiate to face the new enemy together. Jonathan’s demon blood allowed him to gather an army of demons the world had not seen before. 

Alec was standing on the balcony, looking over the city but not really contemplating the beauty of it in the last rays of sunlight, just before dawn was settling in. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice his boyfriend stepping outside. When two strong arms folded around him, Alec sighed and melted into the touch. Resting his head on his lover’s shoulder, he closed his eyes and smiled. He loved that Magnus was taller than him, he had just the perfect size to snuggle up at him. “Hey Magnus” Alec said softly. “Hello Alexander, what were you doing outside?” Magnus replied, planting a soft kiss on Alec’s forehead. Alec just shook his head. “Nothing much”. Magnus nodded, he understood. Silently the two stand close to each other, lost in their thoughts and their embrace.

Magnus was the High Warlock of Brooklyn and supporting the White Alliance, as was of course Alec. As much as they loathed the other side, as much they knew that they had to join forces now to be able to fight against Jonathan Morgenstern’s army. Magnus was the representative of the White Alliance’s warlocks and about to meet with the High Warlock of the other side, Lorenzo Rey and the the other representatives. Tomorrow would be their first encounter, on neutral ground. 

Alec couldn’t really wrap his head around his luck to find someone as stunning and loving as Magnus. They had met 2 years ago on a mission and nearly instantly fallen for each other. Half a year later, Alec had moved in with Magnus, not wanting to spend more time apart than necessary. Alec had fallen fast and deep for Magnus, something he had thought never possible and sometimes he felt guilty about. Despite his feelings for Magnus, there was nearly no day he didn’t think of his first love, the boy who had saved him so many years before. First by being there for him and keeping him safe in the hell he was dumped into, later by freeing him. He still felt the shock and betrayal when Jace had thrown him through the invisible fence without the intend – or rather possibility – to follow him. Alec would never had gone through with the plan if he had known, exactly why Jace had not told him. He knew that Jace had saved him because he had loved him, but sometimes he was just angry at Jace for sacrificing himself and not letting Alec do it for him. He gladly would have. Alec knew that he loved Magnus, but he also knew that part of his heart had stayed in the orphanage with the amazing, stupid, crazy, self-sacrificing boy he would never stop to love. 

To Alec’s amazement, Magnus understood. When Alec first told him about Jace and his feelings, he dreaded the outcome. But he loved Magnus too much to lie to him by not telling, he needed all cards on the table. He confessed his still existing feelings for a boy he was not even sure was still alive, most probably even not. Maybe it was more merciful to wish him dead, but Alec couldn’t bring himself to feel that way. He could not imagine what the warlocks had done to Jace after he helped Alec escape, but he knew that it had been brutal and beyond everything they had had to endure before. Nevertheless, a tiny part of Alec still hoped to be able to hold Jace again in his arms. 

Magnus was alive for a long time and had seen many facets of relationships. He was glad that Alec trusted him enough to confess his feelings and he was fine with them. He knew that Alec loved him, loved him for his own self and would do anything for him. Magnus was fully aware that Alec’s love for Jace didn’t diminish his love for him in any way. If Jace was ever to enter their lives, he was sure they would figure out a way that worked for everyone. But when he was honest, he doubted that Jace was still alive.

After his escape, Alec had followed their original plan. He had found food and weapons as promised at the hidden place. He hadn’t wasted any time and had headed straight towards Idris, just to find out his family was still alive. First he was thrilled, but later he realized that his parents had sold him willingly to Fade, to pay for their debts of the past. They had sacrificed their oldest son to clear their name. Alec had been crushed. He was glad that his siblings were still alive, but that his parents had betrayed him that way – it was too much. He sought refuge at the Sholomance, the Elite Academy of the Clave, still in hands of the White Alliance. He was soon top of his class, the inhuman training methods of the orphanage at least good for something. It was also there where he met Ragnor Fall, a teacher at the Sholomance – and a powerful warlock. Alec saw his chance and confided in the warlock and asked him for help. He knew he needed to find Jace as soon as possible. How to get him out was another story, first they had to locate him. Ragnor was on board, and given the vague location he had gotten from Alec (his recollection after the escape was blurred), it took him a few days to find the exact place of the orphanage. They had portaled there together, but they were too late. The whole place was burned down, only the foundation walls still standing. Alec was devastated, his only hope destroyed to see Jace again. 

Ragnor learned that Malcom Fade had been fiddling with Necromancy, something even the Dark Alliance despised. Some warlock had found out about it and killed Fade, burning down the orphanage in the process. It was not clear what had happened to the remaining kids there, if they had burned with him or if the other warlock had taken them. As communication between the two Alliances was nearly non-existent, they had never even found out the name of the warlock who had killed Malcom. Alec had never stopped looking, but all his attempts had been in vain. Jace remained missing. 

A small shiver from his boyfriend brought Alec back to the present. Darkness had settled in without him noticing it, his mind too deep in thoughts about the past. “Come on, let’s go in. We need to rest, we have to have a clear head before the meeting. I don’t have a good feeling about that Lorenzo guy”. They curled up together in bed, but it took Alec a long time to find the peace to fall asleep.

The next day the meeting between the two antagonized Alliances was going to happen, members of the different wings present: Two warlocks, two Clave representatives, two Alphas, two Clan leaders. To no one’s surprise, the Seelies declined the invitation and preferred to stay in their protected realm. The meeting was held on neutral ground to not give one party an advantage. Alec accompanied Magnus. Normally Alec was part of the New York’s Institute under the leadership of Lydia Branwell, but this time he needed to make sure that Magnus was save. Thanks to the training at the orphanage and later at the Sholomance, Alec was one of the best fighters the Clave had. 

The whole atmosphere was tense, no one trusting the other side. Curt nods of acknowledgment were exchanged when they met at a penthouse high above New York, but nothing more. The two werewolves, the Clave members as well as the Vampires were already there when Alec and Magnus entered the place. The Dark Alliance’s members assembled in one corner in the room, the others as far away as possible. All participants had brought bodyguards. This would not be an easy negotiation, but somehow they had to make it work. Only with joint forces they stood a chance against the demon army of Jonathan. 

Lorenzo was late, on purpose as Alec assumed. It was a cheap display of power, but it worked. The others were getting more nervous. Alec decided to step out of the room for a moment, leaving Magnus in the trusted hands of another warlock and another Shadowhunter Lydia had provided as additional security detail. 

Alec couldn’t help himself but admire the building and its architectonical finesse. Everything was made of steel and glass, even the elevators. When Alec heard said elevator approaching, he positioned himself in front of it, curious to lay eye on Lorenzo. 

Inside the elevator was a group of five men. The warlock stood in the middle, surrounded by his bodyguards. In front of the group stood a blond, muscular man, by all demeanor the clear leader of the guards. He wore dark leather pants, a leather jacket and black roll up shirt. He looked down, standing with crossed arms, showing no sign of insecurity, giving last instructions to the others. He looked up. 

Alec’s world froze. He just stood there, gaping at the man who was about to leave the elevator. He couldn’t breathe, it felt like the world had stopped for a moment. The man looked right at him for a moment – which was like an eternity and a blink of an eye at the same time to Alec – they locked eyes. Jace. HIS Jace. But the moment broke as the elevator opened to the full extend, and the group stepped outside and passed Alec without giving him a second glance. Without any sign of Jace recognizing Alec. 

The negotiations started and as feared, it was not easy, neither of the group wanted to give in to the demands of the others. The whole time, Jace was standing like a rock next to Lorenzo, constantly scanning the surroundings for any possible threats. Alec couldn’t help himself but stare. He hoped no one else noticed. He literally had to force himself to focus on the task on hand – protecting Magnus. Not that it had been necessary yet, the atmosphere was hostile, but so far no clear threats had been issued or anything else. As the night drew closer and no solution was in sight, they called an end to the meeting. 

They had rented the whole place, one floor for each delegation so that no one had to travel back and forth. Of course the whole building was heavily guarded with wards. Before Lorenzo left with his crew, Alec caught Jace looking at him like in trance. Alec’s heart gave a little bump. Before being able to react, Alec heard a sharp “Sebastian!” and Jace instantly snapped out of the trance and turned to the warlock, ready to go with the others. While leaving, Jace casually pulled at the hem of his roll up, exposing his neck to show Alec what was still there. He was still collared, but a foreign sign was etched in his skin around the collar. It was not an angelic rune, but something quite similar. It looked evil. He turned just a little to look at Alec for a brief moment, raising his eyebrows twice. And then he was gone.

Alec felt devastated and thrilled at the same time. When he and Magnus returned to their floor, he couldn’t think of anything else than the fact, that he had found Jace, but that Jace had lost his name again, his identity in some way. He was called Sebastian now - and he was still under control of a warlock. The strange rune was frightening Alec, he didn’t know what it was and what it did to the blond, but clearly it was another means to control or rule Jace. He refused to think of him any other way. To him he would be always Jace.

When Alec had escaped the orphanage, he had briefly thought about changing his name back to Gideon, the name his parents had given him. But when he had learned of their betrayal he had stuck to Alec – this name better displayed his own self now, and, more important, it was his link to Jace. When Magnus had entered his world and started to call him Alexander, he had really loved it. 

“Darling, what is it?” The concerned voice of Magnus pulled him out of his thoughts. When Alec didn’t speak, Magnus came closer, gripped his chin and forced him to look up at him. “Something is completely off with you, tell me!” “Jace” Alec whispered and told Magnus the few things he knew. “So that Sebastian is in reality your Jace?” Magnus asked, a little edge to his voice. Sebastian was known to be as ruthless as the warlock himself. Alec nodded, wrapping his arms around himself as to protect him. “I think he wants to meet me later. I have to see him.” He had never been so hopeful and so scared at the same time. What had happened to Jace in the past five years? Was there something left he would recognize?

Alec wasn’t completely sure where they would meet, but he suspected Jace had also spotted the small corridor in the lobby, leading to a small storage room. It was his best guess, as he found no other way to communicate with him without raising suspicion. Time wise his best guess was 2 pm – in case he interpreted the raised eyebrows correctly. 

Alec was nervous to put it mildly. When he entered the small storage room he was nearly convinced that he had gotten everything wrong and Jace would not show up. Alec entered hesitantly the room, his eyes needing time to adjust to the dim lighting. At the end of the room, leaning against a shelf in a deliberately casual attitude stood Jace. He had his arms crossed as to protect himself, a defiant glare to his eyes. He watched Alec carefully as he entered the room. 

Alec just stood there and watched the boy or better man. He was a lot more muscular than the sixteen-year old Jace Alec had seen 5 years ago for the last time. He had grown a bit too, but the height difference between them was more pronounced now. He looked still stunning. Full, sinful lips, sharp jawline, blond hair, which always had the tendency to fall in his eyes. These eyes anyway. The blue of an ocean after a storm but with one hint of gold in his left iris. But there was something off about them, Alec missed the compassion and warmness he had always been able to see when Jace had looked at him. Now, the look in Jace’s eyes was distant and weary. 

Alec took a step towards Jace, but without closing the distance completely. He was not entirely sure why, but something hold him off. “Jace” he breathed. “How are you?” Jace tensed and with the arrogant expression he had formerly reserved for everyone but Alec, he replied. “Great, I’m doing just great. How is YOUR life going, Alec? I’m still the play toy of a fucking warlock, what do you guess my life looks like?” His voice was dripping with sarcasm. 

“Maybe I didn’t have to guess about your life if you hadn’t just thrown me through that fucking fence. You betrayed me! You didn’t give me any choice. I would have never left you alone in there but YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME ANY CHOICE!” Alec yelled, furious now. How dare Jace hold that against him now, how dare he. He had never asked for being rescued, he would never have left Jace alone. He shoved Jace back against the shelf, all the anger and guilt he had bottled up seemed to pure out now. Of course Jace shoved back. Soon they were fighting each other – in earnest, but not with the intend to harm the other severely. When Jace had Alec pinned down to the ground both were breathless, but the first heat was gone. For an instant Jace held Alec down, arms pinned above his head. For a brief, hopeful moment Alec thought Jace would lean in to kiss him, but then he just let go and set down next to Alec, who straightened up himself. 

Alec had been fantasizing a lot about a possible reunion with the boy he loved so much. He had played million scenarios in his head, but none like this. It felt all so wrong. He had never imagined the anger he had felt when seeing Jace or the grudge the older boy seemed to hold. Where had it all gone so wrong? What had happened? 5 years of torture, Alec thought miserably. He shook his head in disbelief, what was he even doing?. All he wanted was to wrap his arms around Jace and hold him, protect him like the other had protected him so many years before, every day of his life in the orphanage.

But it was Jace who spoke first, before Alec could say anything. “A warlock, Alec really? What on earth are you doing with a warlock?” Jace demanded to know. He was clearly angry at the fact that Alec had chosen to stay with a warlock, throwing Jace’s sacrifice away to live with the enemy. Alec understood him partially, warlocks always had brought only hatred and pain to Jace. Yes, Alec understood the loathing. But Magnus was different.   
“I love him”.  
As soon as Alec said the words, he realized that it had been the exact wrong thing to say. Everything in Jace’s face closed of. “Of course you do”. He stood up and without looking back at Alec, he left the room, despite Alec calling for him, begging him to stay to explain everything. 

Alec didn’t know how long he sat there in the dark and cold before he could gather the strength to return to his room. 

They resumed their negotiations the next day. Lorenzo told them about his private army he planned to build with unbeatable soldiers – he was willing to share and extend, if the payment was right – power and money. The other declined and therefore the negotiations went back and forth, taking circles. Most probably everything would have been fruitless, if they hadn’t learned about Jonathan Morgenstern’s newest masterpiece. Jonathan had succeeded in destroying nearly the complete Praetor Lupus, the Guardians of the werewolves, greatly valued by both Alliances. Like the Silent Brothers or the Iron Sisters, the Praetor Lupus had remained neutral and not chosen a side. 

The news hit the two Alliances like a bombshell and finally they found common ground and worked on a strategy together. In the aftermath of the devastating news, Lorenzo was asked to elaborate his invincible army again. With a smirk he stood up. “After extensive research, I found an infernal rune, which, combined with our pretty magical collars, lead to a complete enslavement of the collared. The slave has no free will anymore – or, better said, they might have it, but they cannot exercise it. The one who draws the rune has full body control of his object. But why talking about it when I can show you.” 

Slowly the warlock turned to Jace, a devilish grin on his face. “Sebastian, come here. Strip for us.” Jace obeyed the order. Without looking at anyone, his glance directed at a point only he could see, he stripped. But this was not enough for Lorenzo, he wanted to show Jace off, wanted to show that he was completely obedient and bound to Lorenzo’s will. He let Jace lick his shoes, made him cut himself and humiliated him in any way possible. Jace obeyed every single command. When one of the Vampires asked what would happen if Jace revolted against the orders, Lorenzo just laughed and without needing to touch Jace, he activated the demonic rune. Jace fell to the ground screaming in a way no human should ever scream. Alec had never heard more horrible noises. Jace spasmed, his body covered in sweat, his eyes rolling backwards in his head. The view made Alec sick to the stomach, but before he could lounge himself at the warlock, it stopped. The warlock just looked coldly at Jace and ordered him to stand up and leave the room. 

After that demonstration of cruelty and power the negotiations came to an end for that day- one side very interested, the other disgusted. Back in their room, Alec went straight to the bathroom, throwing up till nothing was left inside his stomach. Magnus kneeled beside him, stroking his hair, whispering soothing words in the ears of his lover.

Alec needed to see Jace again, he needed to make things right between them and tell him how much he still loved him. But he had no idea how to get in contact with him again. “Leave that to me” Magnus stated, sending a fire message to Lorenzo. He faked interest in the rune but claimed to be not convinced. The whole display could be a fake and pre-arranged, after all. So he requested to have Jace sent over to him and proof the truth of the story. Lorenzo should order Jace to bend to Magnus’ will. 

A couple of hours later, Jace showed up at their apartment, thankfully completely dressed. If Alec hadn’t witnessed his humiliation earlier, he was not sure if he had noticed something. Jace was wearing his cockiness like an armor, not letting any of his real feelings surface. He cocked an eyebrow at the warlock, ignoring Alec completely. “So how do you want me, warlock?”

“Jace” – it was more a plea than anything else. Without missing a beat, Jace looked in the direction of Alec, but not at him. “I think we all have established by now that I am not longer Jace. I am Sebastian now.” Alec hated that Jace was not looking at him, but he hated even more the meaning behind the words, that Jace had given up. That he had accepted his fate as a slave to Lorenzo. This time Alec didn’t freeze, he stepped closer, invading Jace’s private space. He stood so close to the older boy now, he could feel his breathing on his own face. In a tone so low only Jace could hear him, he asked him if he still had the small pendant, his arrow. When Jace nearly reluctantly nodded, Alec couldn’t help a smile coming to his lips. “And why would Sebastian keep a meaningless pendant? It only means something to Jace. You are still you, Jace. You are still the boy who saved me in all ways possible.” With that he pulled the blond in a tight hug. At first Jace stood like a statue, but slowly his body gave in and he melted into Alec. With a sigh Alec pressed him even closer to his chest. “I’m broken Alec, this time I am really truly broken”, Jace whispered.  
“I know, Jace, I know. But what is broken can be healed. I know that there is enough of you left inside you to be healed.” Jace just rested his head on Alec’s shoulder, letting the other man held him and comfort him. 

Alec didn’t know how long they stood there together, lost in their embrace. Before Jace could pull away, Alec brushed his lips against Jace ears “I love you Jace. I’ve loved you since the day we met. Only because I love Magnus also, doesn’t mean I love you any less. I’ve never stopped loving you and never will.” Then, finally, they kissed. It was also not the reunion Alec had imagined, it was better. The kiss tasted of Jace and when he suddenly also tasted salt, he knew Jace was crying, actually they both were. But they were good tears, the boys finally allowing themselves to admit their feelings and leave the grudges they had had for different reasons behind. 

A small cough interrupted them. Magnus had watched them with a knowing and loving expression in his eyes. “I’m really sorry to interrupt, but I need to learn about the control the warlock has over you, Jace. And his plans in general.”   
Alec nodded and pulled Jace next to him on the couch, never letting go of the older boy. Magnus took the chair opposite them, watching them intensely. “So Lorenzo has the full control over your actions, Jace?” Jace nodded slowly, considering his answer carefully.  
“It’s like for a Seelie who must tell the truth”.   
“So there is a grey area. I assume the order has to be as precise as possible, otherwise it leaves room for interpretation. And you still have your own mind capability, but you are forced to do what he asks”.   
“That is the worst part”, Jace said with a broken voice. “I don’t want to do it but I have to. But I can choose how I do something, if the order leaves that open. The greyer the area gets, the more the rune hurts though, till it is unbearable and finally kill me. Well, you’ve seen it”. 

After discussing a few other aspects of the enslavement, Magnus left the boys alone. They didn’t have long anyway, Jace needed to be back in an hour. “And we have to split before that. I cannot go straight from you to him, I have to collect me first. Otherwise he will notice something. He is not stupid, in fact he is rather clever. But he is arrogant”. Alec understood what Jace meant. Sebastian was the cover which lay like a blanket over Jace’s real personality and part of the blanket had been lifted now. Before Jace could face the warlock again, he had to make sure that it was in order again, to be able to convince Lorenzo everything was normal. To survive. “But don’t collect too much” Alec said before crushing his lips on Jace’s, taking all the contact he could get in the remaining time. He so badly wanted to mark Jace, to leave him something to remember, but he didn’t dare to. So when their time was up, he just kissed Jace one last time, raw and passionately and full of promise for a future.

++++

The next time Magnus saw Jace again, it was the day after their discussion, Jace held a seraph blade to Magnus’ throat. Outside the room the warlock heard the ongoing fight between his bodyguards and Lorenzo’s. Jace had locked the door with a rune from the inside so that no one could enter. In an intensive but short fight Jace had been able to overpower Magnus – Magnus had to admit that he had been surprised and at the beginning misinterpreted the signs. So he was not well prepared when the fight started and soon he found himself in the peculiar situation, a bloody blade pressed against his throat. He stood very still. The boy in front of him breathed heavily, clearly in pain. The rune on the neck glowed in an eerily red. Despite the death threat Magnus was surprisingly calm. He knew that most likely this was going to be his end, but he would be damned if he would beg or waver. In the corner of his eye, he saw a small pendant in the shape of an arrow hanging from a thin lace, which was curled around the boy’s wrist. So not all hope was lost. “Jace” he stated with relieve. “So Alec is save?” The blond nodded.  
“Grey area”.  
“I suppose I am not grey”  
“Not at all. You are completely black.”  
Jace’s body was trembling, clearly he was in a lot of pain. His eyes were bloodshot, tears visible in the far corner of them. One hand clutched to the rune as to try to ease the pain coming from it. Only the hand which hold the blade was steady, applying a constant pressure to Magnus’ throat. The warlock realized that the pain Jace was in was coming from the fact, that Jace had not killed him yet. “It’s okay, I understand”, Magnus said in a gentle voice. A small, sarcastic laugh escaped Jace’s mouth. “No, you don’t. How could you? You have no idea what it is like”, Jace hissed. 

Jace closed his eyes, a single bloody tear running down his face, his forehead nearly touching Magnus’ now, so close together stood the two men. Magnus could feel Jace’s hot breath on his face. Magnus was waiting for the final strike, but it never came. Instead Jace crapped the warlock by the collar of his silk shirt, forcing Magnus to look down and in the boy’s eyes, causing the blade to cut a little deeper and spill blood. He could feel the cut, but also that it was not deep, not threatening.  
“Promise me, warlock, promise me one thing. Even though you don’t have a heart, promise me to love him.”

Magnus felt the pressure of the blade lifting and with horror he watched as Jace drove the blade deep in his own neck, in the middle of the red glowing rune. He just stood there as the blond boy fell to the ground, blood splashing from the wound. He just stood there and watched as the world exploded with screams.


	3. Morning Lights

3 weeks later

The two Alliances had been able to defeat Jonathan’s army in an epic battle. The Iron Sisters had forged a sword with the only purpose of destroying Jonathan Morgenstern. The Sisters had infused it with Heavenly Fire, which was supposed to burn the evil out of one person. Only if enough good was left in the stabbed person, the person could survive. Raised by the monster Valentine and infused with demon blood even before he was born, there was not much good left however. Jonathan died nearly instantly when a brave Shadowhunter drew the blade inside Jonathan’s chest. With him, the demons he had summoned and bound to him, vanished to their original realms. The threat was averted, big celebration parties were held.   
Alec didn’t feel like celebrating. Of course he had fought alongside his fellow Shadowhunters, knowing what was at stake. But his heart had not been in it. His heart was still with Jace. When the battle was over, Magnus and him portaled straight back to their loft. After a quick shower, Alec entered the guest room were Jace lay on the bed, covered with a fluffy blanket. He looked so small, Alec thought. “Nothing changed, he is still in a coma,” the nurse announced. Ales sighed and sat down beside his lover, taking a cold hand into his, resting his head in it. “We won, Jace. Jonathan is dead. But you have to fight now. Do it for me! I cannot live without you.” Alec curled beside Jace, carefully to not touch any of the infusions which the blond needed to survive. He could breath on his own – thank the angel – but he was still in a coma. Alec had spent nearly all nights curled up next to him, afraid of leaving him alone. When – when, not if – Jace woke up, he wanted to be there. 

He was so grateful that Magnus understood and supported him. Magnus had been amazing anyhow. Alec still couldn’t believe how lucky they had been – if you could speak of luck in such circumstances. But the moment Jace had hit the floor, bleeding and screaming and really close to death, Lorenzo had entered the room – so sure that Jace had already dealt with Magnus. As soon as Magnus saw the other warlock, he was able to shake off his frozen state. Quicker than ever before, he pushed a ball of blue energy towards Lorenzo, hitting the warlock right in the chest, killing him instantly. The moment Lorenzo died, Magnus felt a bond clicking in place. In that exact moment, the screaming stopped and Jace lay lifeless on the ground, blood still streaming out of his wound. Magnus was beside him in a second, pouring every inch of magic in him he had left. The neck wound finally knitted itself together, but the blood loss was severe – and what damage the rune had done, Magnus could not elaborate. But Jace was alive. Not conscious, but alive. 

Alec ran his fingers slowly through Jace’s hair, knowing that this had always calmed Jace and it also soothed himself. He kissed his lover gently on the forehead and then closed his eyes. He was tired to the death. The battle had been exhausting and he hadn’t really slept in days. So when he closed his eyes and listened to Jace’s heartbeat, one arm wrapped around the blond, he drifted off to sleep. He awoke to someone stirring beneath him. First his mind blanked, he couldn’t process it. But then he realized it: Jace! His eyes flew open in an instant. He registered small movements, Jace’s hand twitched, his leg shook lightly, his eyelid fluttered. Finally, he opened his eyes fully. 

Jace needed a second to focus, but then he looked directly into Alec’s eyes. Alec’s heart skipped a beat at what he saw. For a moment he saw pure joy and wonder in these beautiful, mismatched yes. There was a lightness he had never seen before in Jace’s gaze.   
“I’m alive, Alec. This means….” The moment was gone. Jace’s hand reached for his neck and found the collar and the rune – both still in place. His gaze dropped, the look in his eyes shattered. Alec could do nothing more than hold Jace, who was shaken by sobs, once not caring about the tears he shed. When he calmed down, no more tears left, he rubbed angrily at his eyes. “I thought…” he trailed off. “I thought being alive meant that somehow I got rid of the rune. The rune should have killed me for sparing Magnus. What happened?” 

Alec carefully took Jace’s hand in his, rubbing lightly with his thumb over the older boy’s palm. “When you fell to the ground, Lorenzo entered the room and Magnus killed him. As soon as Lorenzo was dead the bond transferred to Magnus.”   
“Bond” Jace growled. “It’s not a bond, it’s a fucking control and torture device”. Alec could clearly see how devastated Jace was. For a brief moment, Jace had thought to be free. Alec recalled the feeling of losing the collar. It had been overwhelming. Of course his freeing had been overshadowed immensely by the loss of Jace, but nevertheless he could still feel the relief of belonging to himself again. 

Once woken up, Jace recovered quickly, at least physically. Soon a scar in the middle of the rune was the only visible sign left of the incident. Mentally it was a totally different matter. It was not easy for Jace to settle in. He lashed out at Magnus at every given possibility, to bring the warlock to exercise control over him – to proof a point, as Alec suspected. Alec could also see that Jace was jealous of him and Magnus, of the easy relationship they shared, not overshadowed by torture and guilt. Alec knew that Magnus was aware of all that and he admired Magnus’ patience, but Alec could tell that the insults and Jace’s actions got to him. Magnus struggled with his own past, the suicide of his mother, his time with his father, Asmodeus– there were enough triggers for Jace to push. Alec did everything in his power to balance the two, to be fair to both of them, to help Jace adjust and come to terms with his new enslavement. But it was getting to his substance. Every day was a struggle.

Only the nights were times of hope. When he lay sprawled out next to Jace and watched the blond sleep, for once a peaceful and calm look on his face – he knew that somehow he had to push through that hard time. Jace was worth all the trouble. 

Laying next to his lover, he couldn’t help but ran his fingers through the blond hair. Jace’s eyes fluttered open and looked at him with the soft and vulnerable expression in it he only had at night or in the mornings, when the anger and pain had not yet settled in. “Hey you” Alec breathed. Slowly he run his fingers down Jace’s body. He sighed softly. There were so many more scars than when they had parted as kids.

Slowly he started to kiss and fondle every scar on Jace’s body. He started with the old, familiar ones, to kiss his way to the newer ones. He wanted to kiss away the bad memories and put a protective layer of love over the pain. Jace relaxed more and more under his gentle touches. Alec run his tongue slowly over the scars on Jace hip. They both knew where they came from: The night Jace had been raped for the first time, the night of his 16th birthday. The men had held him down so brutally that they had scarred him. “You know, that day. I really thought they broke me that night. Till you came and put me up and mended me together again”. Jace voice was barely audible.

Alec stopped kissing the scars and moved to face Jace.  
“I knew I had to protect you from going through the same thing. Can you forgive me, Alec? For lying to you, for not giving you a choice? For sacrificing myself?”   
“I already have” Alec responded gently, kissing Jace softly on the mouth. “But you really have to stop sacrificing yourself, otherwise I will have Magnus order you to put an end to it.”   
Jace escaped a small laugh – the first time they had made a joke about the whole situation. After a while it was Alec who spoke again.   
“Do you forgive me, too?”  
“For what?” Jace asked with wonder in his voice. “You did nothing wrong”.  
“For moving on. For falling in love with another man. For not finding you sooner.”  
Jace brushed slowly with his thumb over Alec’s lips. “It is hard, Alec, I cannot deny that. To see you with Magnus. But there is nothing I have to forgive. I didn’t want you to be free and then not live. I just need… time I guess. You were the only thing which kept me from losing myself completely when I was Sebastian. The love you gave me in our time together and the thought of maybe seeing you again kept Jace there – not at the surface, but close enough by. I knew you were looking for me, I could feel it”   
Alec nodded, relieved. He understood.  
“What about your new scars? Will you tell me about them?” Alec asked softly.  
“Most I don’t remember where I got them from.” Jace replied, avoiding a direct answer.   
“You know I didn’t mean the scars on your body, but on your soul.”   
Jace smiled at him sadly and shook his head.   
“I don’t know if I am ready to. I know you feel guilty already, I don’t want to make it worse for you.”  
“Yes, I feel guilty, but this is my thing to deal with. If you want to talk, please do. I want to share the pain with you, if you let me. You know I won’t push, but if you are ready – come to me.”  
“I will, Alec, I will. But not yet.” 

The peace of the early morning didn’t last long, to the contrary, the next days it got worse. Jace had nightmares and after those nights, it was always as bad as it could get. Alec didn’t have a good feeling, but he needed to leave the two men alone, he had to assist Lydia in an important clave meeting. 

When Alec returned, the loft was unusually quite – which did nothing to ease the unsettled feeling in his stomach. And he was proofed right. Magnus was sitting at the dining table, a cocktail in one hand and an unreadable expression on his face.  
“Where is Jace, Magnus?” Alec asked alarmed.   
“I don’t know and honestly I don’t care. He said things to me today Alexander – he told me he understood why my mother committed suicide and things even worse, things I don’t want to repeat. Why did you tell him about my mother? That was nothing I wanted to share with him.”  
Without answering the question, Alec pressed on, even more concerned now.  
“And what happened then?”  
“I told him to get out”  
“You did what? Did you COMMAND him to get out? You know that he can’t come back without being grilled by that damned rune? You ordered him to leave!” Alec nearly screamed.  
Magnus paled, he hadn’t thought about that. “Let’s go find him.”

Alec had enough. He was so fed up with the whole situation, he couldn’t tell how much. Yes, he understood why Jace lashed out towards Magnus all the time. Provoking a reaction which proofed him right in his assumption that warlocks were always the bad guys. He understood the pain of being not free. And yes, he understood that finally Magnus took the bait and went against Jace. But he was really done with the whole fucked up situation. 

He didn’t speak to Magnus during their search for Jace. He was too angry, at Magnus, at Jace, at himself, at the people who had put them in this mess at the first place. So he just kept silent to avoid saying something he might regret later. 

Magnus and Alec finally found Jace in a run-down mundane bar. He was already wasted – given that he had never really drunken alcohol before not astonishing. Alec was beyond relieve, apparently Jace was fine except that he was really, truly drunk. Alec approached Jace and sat down opposite him. “Alec,” Jace exclaimed, while ordering another round of shots, “you are here. Did your warlock throw you out, too?” He pushed one of the shots in Alec’s hands while knocking down his.   
“You know that is not what he did.”  
“He told me to get out! What else does this mean to you? Why are you always on his side, Alec?” Jace replied with a sharp edge to his voice, his speech just a little slurred.   
Alec looked at him with a sigh and closed his eyes for a moment.   
“That is not fair, Jace. You know that it is not true. But we need a way to make this work. I can’t be in the middle of you two forever.”  
He felt so tired. He felt the hot gaze of the blond on him and opened his eyes again. Jace had another shot in front of him and looked at Alec defensively. Abruptly Alec stood up, taking the shot from Jace and drowning it.  
“Come on, Jace. You come home with me now.”  
“Oh, so you are ordering me around now, too? Great, just great.”  
Alec turned around slowly, not able to mask his fury any longer. He grabbed Jace by his leather jacket and with a deadly calm voice he whispered in his ear:  
“Don’t’ make me choose, Jace. Just don’t.”

Alec let go of Jace and without turning around to see if the older boy was following him, he went straight to the exit where Magnus was waiting with a portal for them. He closed his eyes briefly in relieve when he heard the unsteady steps of Jace behind him. Alec didn’t know what he had done if the blond hadn’t followed him, but he was glad that he didn’t have to find out. The three of them went in silence through the portal back to their loft.

+++++

When Jace woke up, his mouth tasted like a rat had slept in it. His head seemed to be about to explode, a throbbing pain was pulsating in his temples. At least he was not sick. After a cold shower he felt remotely better, but still the headache was killing him. He was reluctant to leave his room, not wanting to meet Magnus or – worse – Alec. His words still echoed in his mind. Don’t make me choose. He clenched his fists. If he had truly screwed up the one good thing in his life, he didn’t know what to do. He knew that he had overstepped a line with his behavior yesterday. 

When he finally left his room, he went quietly into the kitchen. It seemed that nobody was up yet, so he cooked coffee and made himself toast. He was not sure if his stomach could put up with more. A couple of minutes later Magnus appeared, looking not much better than Jace felt.  
“Is Alexander still sleeping?”  
Jace rose an eyebrow. “I have no idea. I thought he slept with you this night”.   
Magnus just shook his head. “I assumed he is with you, as he didn’t come into our bed. Must have fled to the Institute”  
Stunned, the both men stood in silence for a moment. This had never happened before.   
“Alec was really pissed yesterday. I think I have never seen him like that.” Jace stated.  
Magnus nodded in agreement while conjuring a nasty looking green drink with a snap of his hand.  
“Here drink that, you look awful. That will help against your hangover, trust me. Doesn’t taste good but does the trick.”  
“Thank you Magnus.” Jace tentatively took the drink and wrinkled his nose. It really smelled awful. But he drowned it anyway. They stood there for a few moments awkwardly, and when Magnus was just about to turn around, Jace grabbed the warlock by the arm.

“I’m sorry, Magnus. For yesterday. And I think for the days before, too. Deep down I know you did nothing wrong. But…. But I am just so angry. I just want to be free.”   
“It’s okay Jace, I know. You were tortured for more than half of your life by my kind. And I assume that in the first years of your childhood your father told you how evil we warlocks are - given that your father was a high ranking Circle member. And I have to apologize, too. When I told you to get out, I wasn’t aware that this was an order and you couldn’t come back. I would never throw you out of your home, Jace.”  
“My home?”   
“Yes, your home. You live here too and this is also your home.”  
Jace couldn’t tell how much this meant to him. He barely remembered a time he had had a place where he actually belonged, a place he could call home.   
“You know, I think sometimes the whole situation is also so hard for me because I didn’t have a say in it. I never have a say in anything when it comes to my life, it seems. When I met Alec again and he was already with you – I mean, what choice did I have? There was never the question if I agreed with him being with you, too. It was just a given.”  
Magnus snorted.   
“And you think that I had a choice in the matter? As if Alec had ever left you. You know, shortly after we met he already told me about you. That there was another boy he loved and would always love.”  
“And you didn’t mind?”  
“No, actually not. I don’t think that Alec loves me any less because of you. I do mind the disgusted voice you always have when you call me warlock, though.” Magnus added, not without a smirk.  
Jace couldn’t help but snort a small laugh. “Fair enough”.   
“Listen, Jace, I was thinking about the whole situation a lot yesterday. You know I would never order you to do anything. This is not who I am. But I really do think that you need help, help neither I or Alexander can provide. What you had to endure is too severe to just wait for it to heal. You should go see a therapist who can work with you. Who is there just for you.”   
After Magnus explained the whole therapy concept to Jace, Jace nodded – to his surprise as much as to Magnus’. He knew Magnus was right, he had to do something. He wanted to do something, for his sake but also for Alec’s. He deserved better.

Magnus had gone out to visit a client and therefore Jace was alone when Alec eventually returned home. He could tell that the younger boy was still angry, but that more in a resigned way, which was probably worse.   
“Hey” he said softly, approaching his lover tentatively. “I’m sorry, Alec”.   
“Good. But you don’t have to apologize to me. You have to apologize to Magnus.”  
“I do and I did”  
At that, Alec looked at him in astonishment. “You really apologized to Magnus?”  
“Yes, and we actually talked to each other. I agreed to not longer name him warlock in a disgusted tone.”  
Alec laughed and pulled Jace a bit closer to kiss him on the forehead.

Jace told Alec that he had agreed to go see a therapist, a werewolf acquaintance of Magnus’ with the name Scott. To Jace’s surprise, Alec was thrilled at the news. Jace watched Alec intently as the other boy explained to him, that he had been thinking of going himself, too. Somehow he had to deal with all the guilt he had felt when he had left Jace behind and also with his time in the orphanage, which he just had bottled up and locked away. But it was time to face their demons, they both agreed. 

For a moment they both just sat there, content with their decisions. Then suddenly Jace took Alec’s face in his hands, slowly pulling his lover close.   
“I don’t know what I would do without you, Alec. I love you so much. The thing is Alec, I just know how to survive. I have no idea how to actually live.”  
Instead of an answer, Alec kissed him, deep, slowly and passionate. “Then let me show you, Jace. Let me teach you how to live the same way you taught me to survive.”

The therapy sessions went surprisingly well. The first two hours Jace mostly talked about anything but himself, but soon he opened up more. They had agreed to daily sessions and they helped Jace to find his center. He was not fixed, he would probably never totally be fixed – but that didn’t matter. He felt better, more able to make his peace with the situation. The feeling of powerlessness in regards of his collar and rune stayed of course, but at least he could accept now that Magnus was not going to use it against him. What would happen if Magnus got killed, was another thing, something Jace didn’t want to think about right now.

When Scott encouraged Jace to presume his field work again, Jace was first hesitant. But after he had joined Alec in a demon hunt, he felt the usual rush of adrenaline and energy he had always felt – and missed. After the mission they talked to Lydia, who agreed to let Jace join the Institute, at first under probation, but soon he proofed himself to be reliable – ab it reckless, but still reliable. It was another step towards a normal life.

Magnus, Alec and Jace settled in. Alec was still switching from one to another, which was still tiring sometimes, but they got along way better now. They even spent movie nights together or cooked together. When Jace mentioned once that he had enjoyed playing the piano when he was a child – nearly his only happy childhood memory he could still recall – a piano suddenly appeared in the living room the next day. Neither of them really mentioned it, but Jace couldn’t hide his excitement.

Alec had gone out for a mission a few weeks later, on his own this time, so Jace and Magnus were alone in the loft. Rather shyly Jace approached Magnus. “Can I show you something?” Magnus followed Jace into the living room. While Jace sat down at the piano, Magnus took the couch. Jace started to play, the Boléro by Maurice Ravel, as Magnus realized instantly. It was beyond words. Jace hit every tone, held the rhythm without effort. But what amazed Magnus the most was the look on Jace’s face when he played. It was soft and calm and showed a vulnerability he had never seen in the blond before. It was a look which was usually reserved for Alec. 

After Jace finished the composition, he took a seat opposite of Magnus. “Thank you Magnus. Thank you for doing that for me”.  
“You are very welcome my dear.” They sat there together, talking about this and that. It felt oddly comfortable. They had finally found a way to be together, without Alec as a buffer between them. How much they in deed cared for each other they would however discovered a few weeks later.

****

The therapy of course didn’t fix everything. Jace and Alec both still struggled with their past. Jace’s sleep was often hunted by nightmares, reopening already healed wounds. It was a bit like a dance: Two steps forwards, one back. 

After a couple of exceptional bad days, Alec and Magnus decided to do something about it, Alec had promised to show Jace what life could be, after all. They decided to take Jace to the club Magnus owned, Pandemonium. Not that Alec was a big clubbing fan, but they both thought Jace could enjoy it. And Magnus was in for a party night anyway.

When they hit the club, Jace seemed excited and tentative at the same time. It was clear that he enjoyed the music, but he just stood beside Magnus and Alec, arms crossed and scanning their surroundings.   
“A club is a security nightmare” Jace stated suddenly. He had never been in a club to enjoy himself before, he had been there only in his function as Lorenzo’s head of security.   
“We are here to have fun Jace. Leave the security to my people. You are here to enjoy yourself. I can order you to have fun, you know” Magnus told the blond with a smirk. Jace laughed. Instead of replying, he grabbed Alec’s arm and pulled him on the dancefloor.  
“Let’s have fun, Alec” he whispered into his lover’s ear before he started to move his body. Jace was a natural. If he had not been with Alec the whole time, clearly not interested in anyone but him, Magnus was sure that he would have been surrounded by admirers instantly. Jace clearly knew how to sinfully move his body to the music, circling his hips and grinding at Alec in a teasing way. It was fun to watch the two Shadowhunters – and insanely hot, Magnus had to admit. Besides it was amazing how relaxed and carefree both of them looked. 

++++

After a couple of hours, Alec wanted to call it a night. He had an early meeting at the Institute and it was quite late already. As Jace and Magnus were still in full party mode, they agreed to split up – Magnus conjured a portal for Alec and Jace and Magnus stayed at the club. They danced and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. 

Jace stood at the bar, waiting for his drink. After his last experience he had gone easy on the alcohol, so he had ordered a simple beer. He stood with the back to the bar, leaning casual on it. He looked around, searching for Magnus, who stood with a friend of his, talking at a private area close to the bar, when something caught Jace’s eye. In an instant he leaped into action, activating his runes while drawing his weapons at the same time. With one swift jump he was at Magnus’s side, pointing the blade at another warlock’s throat while he had a throwing star in the other hand, ready to let it fly.

“Stand down” he hissed to the foreign warlock in front of him. “Before you or your partner can act, I’ll cut your throat.” Jace was aware that the warlock’s partner, a werewolf, would probably kill him at the same time, but he was certain that it would not come to that. Most assassins were not willing to sacrifice themselves just to achieve their goal and he was sure that the men in front of him were not an exception. So he was not utterly concerned when the warlock responded: “You know that you would be dead with me”, nodding in the direction of his partner.  
“Do I leave the impression that I care?” Jace showed no sign of hesitation, his voice as steady as his hands. He looked pointedly at the warlock, his collar and rune clearly visible. Most Shadowhunters and Downworlders knew by now what they meant, while of course no one was aware that Magnus had never ordered Jace to protect him. 

After a long second, the warlock and the werewolf lowered their weapons. Finally the security of Pandemonium stepped in and took them into custody. Jace turned to Magnus and cocked an eyebrow. “Are you alright Magnus?” His whole body was still tense, the adrenaline not yet leaving his body. When Magnus nodded, Jace stepped closer to the warlock and hissed in his ear with barely contained anger: “Your security sucks. I will hire you new bodyguards and I will train them – understood?” Magnus couldn’t help a smile occurring on his lips. “Yes Sir, totally understood.” He was definitely touched by Jace’s concern. 

+++++

After Magnus had dealt with the incident, it was already early morning and therefore Alec had already left for the Institute. Both men were equally tired so they just said good night and went to their rooms. 

Magnus had not slept long when he was woken by screams. He knew that Jace often had nightmares. Normally Alec would go to him but given that Alec was already gone he rushed to Jace’s rooms. The screams had stopped, but Magnus heard strange gurgled noises from inside. So he pushed the door open, to find Jace beside his bed on his knee, gasping for air. He most definitely had a panic attack, probably triggered by the incident in the club. 

Magnus knelt beside Jace, trying to calm him down. He felt helpless, Alec was the one who knew how to handle Jace in these situations. When all his attempts of soothing the blond failed, he turned to the last straw: “Breathe slowly, Jace. That is an order.” 

Magnus could feel that it worked, that the rune kicked in and forced Jace to breath normally – probably the first time that it did something good. Magnus saw that Jace slowly calmed down and therefore ordered: “You can breathe like you want now”, 

Jace face was covered in sweat, his hair lay plastered against his head. “Thank you” he breathed. Magnus pulled Jace closer, still running soothing circles over his back. Jace tensed for a second but then let himself relax into the hug. It was the first time he let Magnus get that close – probably the first time he let anyone get close to him, besides Alec, Magnus assumed. Magnus had to admit he liked it. Over the past time he had developed protective and amicable feelings towards the blond. The intensity of them he had just realized yesterday, when Jace had jumped without hesitation in front of him to protect him. Magnus had been more worried about Jace than about himself, but he was deeply moved by the fierceness Jace had shown. And he was more then moved now by the trust Jace showed towards him. So when Jace asked him in a small voice if Magnus stayed with him for the night (morning would be the better term, but well) he nodded gladly and lay down next to Jace, not letting go of him. He continued to rub Jace’s back lightly, until the deep and steady breaths of the blond announced that he was asleep, before he let himself close his eyes and drift off to sleep himself.

+++++

Alec was furious. What was the fucking point in having TWO boyfriends when NONE of them had the decency to inform him about anything. No, he had to find out from a random Shadowhunter that HIS boyfriend had been the target of an assault in Magnus own club and had been saved by HIS OTHER boyfriend – in a reckless manner, of course. One would think that one of them might have called to let him know what was going on. But they hadn’t. Alec was irritated and really furious. When he had heard about the attack, he had stormed out of the Institute. First he had thought of calling them, but this needed to be discussed in person. He also declined the offer of a portal – he had to clear his mind first, otherwise he was not sure what he would say to his boyfriends. Honestly, right now he felt more like punching them than talking to them. He definitely needed to let off steam, so he jogged all the way from the Institute to their loft. It indeed helped, yet he still felt the anger burning inside him. He stormed into the bedroom Magnus and himself were sharing – just to find it empty. He turned to Jace’s room and for a moment he just stood there and watched, trying to take in the picture before him. Alec’s whole composure softened, the fury nearly forgotten. Magnus and Jace were lying together, facing each other. Jace had curled his one leg into Magnus’, and Magnus arm was spread out protectively around the blond’s waist. They looked really peaceful. Alec rolled his eyes, of course they had to look like that now when all he had wanted was to tell them off. But he couldn’t hide his joy to see the two men he loved in such an intimate and trusting position, something he never had believed would happen. So he just went over to the bed, curling up behind Jace to spoon him from behind. He was curious what had let to this and he WOULD tell them off, but now was not the time. When he lay down, Magnus’ eyes flew open. “You really look good together, you know?” Alec stated softly when seeing his lover awake.   
“I have to admit it feels also that way” Magnus stated while giving Alec a gentle kiss on the lips. “He had a panic attack after the incident in the club and as you were not there to calm him down, I tried to step in.”  
“With much success” Alec said lovingly, while looking at his other boyfriend, who was soundly asleep, clearly at peace with the whole situation. “About that ….. incident….. however,” Alec looked pointedly at Magnus, “we will have a serious talk. But for now…” His voice trailed off, while he snuggled closer to Jace, interlining his fingers with Magnus’ and just enjoyed the moment of peace.

When they woke up in the early afternoon, they indeed had a serious talk. Magnus and Jace both felt guilty for not having thought of informing Alec and both promised to do so in future. Jace also stressed again how important it was for Magnus to get better security, as the tension between the two sides in the Shadow World was still there, even though the death of Lorenzo and the joint victory over Jonathan had helped better the situation. 

Alec noted that the relationship between Jace and Magnus shifted after that. They became more caring towards each other, there was a lot more interaction between them - also physical.   
He couldn’t help but notice the casual touches when Jace handed over a coffee cup or Magnus sitting so close to Jace that their shoulders were touching. It was nice to watch how close the two have gotten.

++++++

Jace and Magnus sat together on the coach watching a movie, Alec was at the Institute dealing with the Clave. The whole day had been a bit strange, Jace and Magnus felt drawn together but neither of them seemed to know how to act on it. But Magnus could not longer deny his feelings, and he also couldn’t deny the vibes he had gotten from Jace, the tension he felt between them. Especially that day, there had been so many incidents where they “accidentally” had bumped into each other, touched their hands, looked at each other longer than necessary. 

So when Jace leaned towards him to grab something from the table, Magnus took the chance. Very slowly and very carefully he hold Jace in place, their faces nearly touching. Gently he followed Jace’s jawline with his thumb, looking directly in the fascinating eyes of the blond, asking silently for permission. When Jace nodded, Magnus leaned in and closed the distance between them, planting a soft kiss on Jace’s lips. When he felt Jace react to the kiss, responding by opening his lips lightly, he deepened his kiss. He was careful to not rush anything, he wanted to leave the decision of how far and how quick it went up to Jace. When Jace grabbed his hair and pulled Magnus closer to entangle him in a more heated and passionate kiss, Magnus was thrilled. Jace was a great kisser with the right mixture between gentleness and passion. Soon Magnus found himself in a playful fight over the dominance of the kiss. He felt Jace bighting lightly at his lower lip, sending a wave of arousal down his body. Magnus pulled Jace completely on his lap now, he loved how well Jace fitted on it. He ran his hands slowly down Jace’s back, squeezing his ass tightly – but nothing more. When they finally stopped, both catching their breath, Jace’s lips were swollen and red from the kissing. His eyes were blown wide and he looked so beautifully wrecked, Magnus nearly couldn’t wrap his head around it. But then Jace broke their eye contact, looking away all of a sudden.   
“Is everything all right, Jace? If I overstepped in any way I am truly sorry. If this is something you didn’t want I promise you it will never happen again.”  
To his relief, Jace shook his head.  
“No Magnus, I wanted to kiss you for a while now. But it’s just… I don’t want to do more. Not with that THING still in place. I just… I can’t go any further like that”, he stated with a guarded expression on his face.  
“And that is totally fine. I’m totally fine with everything you give me. If you want to go back to before that is also absolutely okay. Just because we kissed once doesn’t mean that we need to do it again.”  
“But if this is exactly what I want to do?” Jace asked, kissing Magnus after every word.   
“Then we will do exactly this” Magnus replied before crushing his lips against Jace’s again. 

Magnus fully understood why Jace was not ready to go any further. When he looked at all the scars Jace’s body carried and what the boy had gone through – forced to do things Magnus could only imagine - it was clear to Magnus that Jace needed to feel in control when being in a vulnerable position. Magnus was amazed that Jace trusted him enough to have what they had now: A loving relationship where they could show affection, both verbally but also non-verbally. The cuddlings and kisses the two men shared were sweet and hot at the same time – and so different to what Magnus had with Alexander. Yes, he would be ready to go further, he wondered what it would be like to feel Jace inside him - or vice versa - but he appreciated what Jace was willing to offer. Magnus was happy. After long years of loneliness, he had first found his Alexander – and with him Jace. 

He would be really truly happy if not the collar issue still overshadowed them all. Jace bad days had become less, but it was clear to him – and Alec – how much Jace still suffered. Especially with the threat of Magnus’ possible death, something which was not likely to happen soon, but with their life style and the ongoing tension a risk they had to consider. He had talked to Alexander about it, but there was no easy solution to it. Should Magnus be killed by a specific person, the bond would transfer to the assassin and Jace would be enslaved again.

Magnus had never stopped looking for a solution, so far he had not gotten lucky. There just seemed no way to remove the rune and collar at the same time (which needed to be done, as they were both interlined) without killing Jace in the process. So Magnus was beyond thrilled when he heard from Ragnor, who travelled around the globe, that he had found a possible solution. He was less thrilled when he learned about the procedure. Ragnor was right, removing the rune and the collar was possible, but the procedure was extremely dangerous, the possibility of a fatal outcome high – the risk around 80/20, or 90/10 even. But it was the best they ever had found, so Magnus felt obligated to tell Jace about it. Alexander followed his line of thinking, not telling Jace was a kind of betrayal their relationship would most probably not recover from. When they had the next free evening together, they decided to tell him, together.   
“I’m not ready to lose him, Magnus” Alexander whispered to Magnus.  
“Neither am I, but we are doing the right thing. We have to tell him. He has the right to know and it’s his to decide.”

When Jace returned home he found his two boyfriends sitting on the couch with serious expressions on their faces.  
“We need to talk, come sit down, darling”, Magnus announced.  
“What did I do wrong?” Jace face was weary, clearly not sure what to expect.   
“Nothing, but we need to talk. Magnus might have found a solution for your collar. But you need to listen carefully, it is a risky procedure.”  
Magnus told Jace everything, without leaving out any detail. He explained how difficult it had been to come up with anything at all – the rune was of demonic origin, not many knew something about it. He explained the details of the procedure and the odds of getting killed in the process. When he finished, the room fell silent, all three of them lost in thoughts. During Magnus’s talking, Alec had moved closer to Jace till he basically sat on Jace’s lap. Jace seemed to have the same need of physical contact and he pulled Alec into a tight hug, hiding his face in Alec’s hair.   
“What do you think, Alec?”  
Alec was quiet for a moment, clearly not sure what to say. He snuggled even closer to Jace – if this even was possible – before he announced: “I so wish it would be an easy solution. If I am really honest, everything in me screams to tell you to stay away from it. That it is way too dangerous, the risk of losing you is too high. But I have been enslaved, too. Not to the same extend and that is why I only can imagine how much you suffer from it. So I really think that it is your decision to make. I’ll support you either way.”   
Jace nodded. “And you Magnus?”  
Magnus was oddly touched that his opinion mattered so much to Jace that he would consider it in such a severe situation.   
“I fully agree with Alexander. I just got you, so I really don’t want to lose you. But if you want to try, I’ll be there.”  
Jace smiled at Magnus, nodding. “I need time to think. I cannot decide it right now. Thank you for telling me, I know it was not an easy thing to do.”

++++

Jace took his time. It was not an easy choice. On the one hand he graved for his freedom, for finally being rid of the collar and rune which had determined the main part of his life. On the other hand, the possibility of dying was high. He saw the concern in the looks of his boyfriends, even though they stayed true to their word and didn’t try to convince him. And he was worried, too. He was finally in a place where he felt loved – was he ready to risk this? His mind was constantly occupied with the subject, even when doing something else – being on a mission or training in the Institute was not enough to distract him. One day he was in favor of the procedure, the other day it changed. He went back and forth and back again - until one day. He came home from the Institute to find his two boyfriends cooking in the kitchen. They hadn’t noticed him entering and they were totally absorbed in their domestic routine. Magnus was feeding Alec with a spoon from the spaghetti sauce they were cooking, both laughing and smiling at each other. They were more relaxed than Jace had seen them in days. While he was watching them doing such a basic thing as cooking pasta, he suddenly knew what to do, what he actually had known all along but hadn’t been able to admit to himself.

“Guys, I’ve made my decision.”  
Jace saw Alec tense, the carefreeness gone in an instant. He stepped towards Jace. “I knew it and I really do support you, but…. I had hoped….” Before he could go on, Jace interrupted him.  
“I really appreciate what you are saying, but you haven’t heard my decision yet. I won’t go through with the procedure. I have finally what I always wanted – a place to call home. I have not only one person to love and love me back but two. I finally live. For 21 years all I did was survive. And now – I want to live. And should something ever happen to Magnus, I will have Ragnor set me free. I suppose he can do the procedure as well.”  
Alec and Magnus were speechless for a few seconds, both had feared that Jace would go ahead and take the risk. When they came out of their shock they drew Jace in for a tight hug. While the two men Jace loved hold him, he knew it was the right decision. He felt happy, truly happy.

After Jace made the distinctive decision to rather bare the collar than risk his life, he felt something inside him shift. Even if he was still ruled by the collar – a control Magnus never executed – it was his own decision now. He felt more in control of his own life than ever before, something which felt amazing. By not letting the collar dictate his actions, he had overcome the shadow of it. Therefore he was able to let Magnus in even more. Right from the start he had made his boundaries in their relationship clear to Magnus, which the warlock had always accepted. But Jace felt that he wanted more now. He felt safe and in control enough to want and to give more. 

Jace was making out with Alec in the living room, when Jace felt that they were not longer alone. He looked up to see Magnus watching them, the warlock’s eyes dark with lust. Without thinking, he extended his hand to the warlock to announce him to join them. Magnus gladly took the invitation. At the beginning it was a bit awkward, but they soon overcame that. While Jace was kissing Magnus, he felt Alec bite his neck and suck at the rune – something Alec often did and Jace had come to love it. Another way to manifest that the rune was not determining his life. Slowly Jace unbuttoned the silky shirt Magnus was wearing, without stopping to kiss him. When he was done, he went down to kiss Magnus whole body. First he started with his neck, sucking lightly at the sensitive skin. He felt a strange proudness when he realized that he had left a red mark on the dark skin of the warlock. Slowly he went down further, circling one nipple with his tongue, biting down a little – which was rewarded by a sharp intake of breath by Magnus. He continued his way down to kiss and suck at the amazing abs Magnus had and couldn’t help a smile when he realized that his two lovers were kissing passionately above him. 

At Magnus’ belt he hesitated for a second, but then proceeded and opened it with skilled fingers. Before he could pull down Magnus’ pants, he felt pulled up by the warlock who looked him seriously in the eyes. “Are you sure Jace? We don’t need to do that.”  
“I know, but I want do.”   
“Then I suggest we take this to the bedroom.”   
Jace felt himself being pushed against Alec, who stumbled in the direction of the master bedroom. When Alec’s legs hit the bed, he pulled Jace down with him, kissing him passionately. Magnus stood at the door, clearly enjoying the show, while getting rid of his clothes.   
“You two have definitely too much on right now” he said with a smirk before snapping his hand and the clothes of the two boys disappeared. Jace gasped and laughed. “Well, there are some perks to having a warlock boyfriend”. Magnus joint the two on the bed – which he magically had enlarged to accommodate all three of them more comfortably. “Let me show you some more perks”. 

First they were just kissing and touching, getting used to the new situation. But soon there touches and kisses got more heated and passionate, the need for more clear to all three of them. Alec and Magnus both knew about Jace’s need for control, so they let him set the pace. While Alec was kissing Magnus, Jace went down once again on the warlock’s body, playing with Magnus nipples teasingly. He licked on the hipbone of Magnus in small circles, drawing out small moans of Magnus – moans which were swallowed by Alec’s hungry mouth. Jace circled slowly lower, finally reaching Magnus’ cock. Jace licked the complete length of Magnus’s dick before sucking lightly at the tip. He enjoyed the feeling of power while he took Magnus apart. “Fuck Jace” he heard the warlock hiss. 

This was encouragement enough for Jace and he swallowed Magnus down completely. The warlock tasted good, a bit salty, a bit spicy. He hummed in excitement, every hum causing Magnus to moan. When Jace started to bop his head, he felt Magnus hands grabbing his hear. He didn’t mind it, it felt nice. He felt other hands on his back now, a tracing tongue going down his spine. Alec squeezed his cheeks teasingly, before whispering: “Do you want to fuck me Jace or do you want to feel me inside you?”   
Reluctantly Jace drew away from Magnus’ cock to be able to answer. “Why don’t you fuck me while I finish what I started here?” Alec smirked, he loved fucking Jace. It had taken a lot of time for Jace to let go enough to be comfortable in the more vulnerable position of being the bottom. But now he truly enjoyed it, as much as he enjoyed being the dominant part.

Jace let Alec push him on his knees, the position giving Alec better access and allowing Jace to continue to suck off Magnus. What he gladly did. He enjoyed the groans Magnus made while he took his cock in his mouth again, circling his tongue to increase the sensation.   
He felt a lubed finger at his entrance, while Alec was running a soothing hand over his back and ass. Jace shortly tensed when Alec’s finger entered him, but soon relaxed, allowing Alec to enter completely. Alec soon found Jace’s sweet spot and pushed against it – causing Jace to hum in excitement and push back his hips. Alec took this as an invitation to enter a second finger and then a third, fucking Jace know thoroughly with his hand. Alec wanted Jace to be fully prepared before going further. Nearly every stroke hit Jace’s prostate and Jace could feel his cock leaping pre cum, the intensity of his feelings nearly overwhelmed him. “Fuck Alec, I need you right now”, Jace urged before taking Magnus’ dick back in his mouth again.   
Alec took the invitation and lined himself up with Jace inviting entrance. Slowly he pushed in his boyfriend, giving the blond time to adjust. When he felt that Jace was ready, he set up a steady pace, driving Jace nearly mad. He pushed back his hips in the same rhythm than Alec pushed in, making Alec pick up the pace even more. Jace was not able to suck anymore, so he was glad when Magnus grip in his hair tightened and the warlock started to push in his mouth, matching Alec’s rhythm. They were all three close to lose control now. Alec was the first to come, deep inside of his lover. With his last pushes he had started to stroke Jace’s hard cock, driving the blond over the edge a little after himself. The view of his two lovers coming was enough for Magnus to follow and he spilled his cum deep down Jace’s throat. 

Exhausted but totally at ease the three of them lay next to each other in bed. Magnus had cleaned them with a snap and provided fresh sheets – another plus in a relationship with a warlock. After a while, Magnus started to explore Jace’s body. Of course they had seen each other topless before, but Magnus never had looked too closely, in order to respect Jace’s privacy. When his fingers trailed down the scars on Jace’s hips, he felt the blond tense a little. Before he could remove his hands, not wanting to touch Jace when the other was not ready, Jace hands covered Magnus’, holding them in place. “These scars are from the first time I was raped, when I turned sixteen,” he explained.   
“Was this your first time as well?” Magnus asked, his voice sad. Jace replied, without hesitation. “Maybe in a technical aspect. But in every aspect that matters, Alec has been my first. He has been my first for everything. To love me for who I am. To kiss me. To make love to me. And you are my second, Magnus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the new chapter. It was the most difficult to write for me, and it also got huge - nearly double the size of the first two. I hope it is not too messy with the mixed POVs and everything. The next chapter will probably be the last, a kind of epilogue - and also a lot shorter. Please let me know what you think, I really love feedback :-)


	4. Epilogue - Ligthning Bolt

6 month later

Jace was still amazed by how everything had turned out. He loved both of his boyfriends so much, he couldn’t put it into words. What was even more astonishing, he felt loved too. He felt it through the way they talked to him, kissed him – cared for him. There was so much light in his life, that sometimes the darkness which lurked beneath the surface hit him with surprise. All of a sudden he started to have nightmares again, fighting to keep his focus on the good sides and not let himself slip back to old dangerous habits of hate and anger. Normally, Magnus and Alec had a good feeling for his moods, they heard his screams at night and felt him draw back a little in their relationship. Both clear signs for them to increase their efforts to care for him, to push Jace to go to an extra therapy session or anything which would work to stabilize him. Most of the times, they sailed smoothly around these cliffs. 

This time they didn’t notice the first, subtle signs of Jace’s distress. Alec was busy at the Institute, heaving become the second in command after Lydia, Co-Head of the Institute. Which was an honor and Alec was immensely proud of it – and rightly so. Magnus was organizing a big Downworlder meeting with the hopes to finally prohibit the whole slavery business. For that, he needed to convince more Downworlders to join the White Alliance – and what was better than to throw a party at the Pandemonium? Therefore both of his boyfriends were too occupied to notice the inner turmoil Jace was in – and this time, Jace was also not able to really voice it, as he was not clear himself what triggered him. 

But he dreamed more often now about his time with Lorenzo, about the things he had been forced to do – about the person – or rather thing – he had been forced to become. 

When Magnus asked him to join his big Downworlder party, he was reluctant. Alec couldn’t come, he was in Idris on behalf of the New York Institute. Jace still didn’t feel comfortable around so many Downworlders – especially warlocks. But he knew how much it meant to Magnus, so he gave in and went, against his guts. 

At the beginning, he kept to Magnus’ side, feeling the stares of the others on him and hearing the whispers. It made him feel small inside, a feeling he hated. Usually Magnus would pick up on it, but this night he was too preoccupied with making politics. Magnus engaged in several conversations, trying to charm his fellow Downworlders – with success, as far as Jace could tell. As the night went on, it was harder for Jace to follow Magnus around, he hated to feel out of place and being the third wheel. So finally he withdrew to a bar close by, drinking too much for his own good. He knew it, but couldn’t help it. Right now, he needed the soothing effect of the alcohol. 

When a warlock, someone Jace didn’t know but who had talked to Magnus amicably before, approached him, he got weary. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, most definitely not to a foreign warlock right now, but he kept a friendly face, knowing how much the evening meant to Magnus. 

The façade fell in an instant when the warlock addressed him. “So you are Magnus’ pet. How nice of him to let you join the party, don’t you think, pet?”  
It took all the self-control Jace could master to not kill the warlock right there, right then. He knew what was at stake so he just turned around, desperately looking for Magnus. The warlock’s words had triggered him more than he wanted to admit, the darkness inside him not longer lurking in the shadow but coming to the surface. He needed to get out of here immediately, otherwise he couldn’t guarantee for anything. 

When he found Magnus, he dragged him by the arm to a spot where no one could hear them and hissed in his boyfriend’s ear to get him to the loft, instantly. Magnus realized at once that this was something severe. He had seen Jace talking to an old acquaintance of his, the warlock Flavia, but he couldn’t comprehend what had put Jace in his current state. But he acted fast, opened a portal to their loft and followed him through it, putting the needs of his lover before the politics. The night had been coming to an end anyway. 

Without looking back, Jace ran into his room. When Magnus wanted to follow, he just snapped at him. “Leave me alone, Magnus, I mean it. Leave. Me. Alone.” Jace slammed the door shut, glad to be alone, even if being alone was not the thing he needed. Jace felt panic building up in him, the words of the warlock still ringing in his head. Pet. He was no ones pet, but still it stung. Had Magnus referred to him as his pet? Ready to do every order his owner gave him? The small, still reasonable voice in him told him that this was not possible, but it was overruled by his insecurity and darkness, which had build during the last couple of days. Pet. Suddenly he felt the urge to throw up. 

After his stomach was empty, nothing left to throw up, he looked up in the mirror. His eyes were blood-shot and his hair a mess, sweaty and plastered to his forehead. He looked pale, the dark black collar and the red rune stood in a starch contrast to his white skin. It sickened him and without thinking, he started to punch the image in the mirror with his bare fists, slamming his fists again and again into his mirror image, not caring for the pain the broken glass caused, not caring about the blood which poured out of his bleeding knuckles. 

Jace only realized that he had been screaming when two strong arms wrapped around his chest, pulling him out of the small bathroom and he heard Alec’s worried whispers. “Sh, Jace, it is all right. I’m here now, everything is going to be fine.” To his surprise it worked. Jace let himself relax into Alec’s strong hold, let the younger boy sooth him with his gentle words. 

When Jace came to his senses again, he found himself sitting on the floor in his bedroom, Alec sitting behind him, his arms wrapped around him. His white shirt was covered with blood, his knuckles still bleeding, bits of glass stuck inside of them. When he looked up he found Magnus standing a bit lost in the door, clearly not knowing if he was allowed to come in or not. Jace reached out to him pleadingly. “Can you heal me Magnus?” Relieve shot through Magnus body and with two swift steps he was sitting opposite of Jace, taking his bleeding fists gently into his. Carefully he let his magic remove the splinters first before he healed them completely. “Here you go, darling. All healed up. Now talk to us, please”. 

Jace felt exhausted. He rested his head on Alec’s chest, listening to the strong and steady heartbeat of his lover. He knew he had to tell both of them what had happened. But he didn’t know how. He started anyway. 

“Is the warlock with the lilac skin a friend of yours, Magnus?”  
“Flavia? We met in Europe years back. She is not exactly a friend, but we always got along very well. Why?”  
“Do you know what she called me? She called me your pet.” Jace spat out, accusingly. Magnus couldn’t help but pick up the accusing tone. Suddenly the warlock felt so tired.  
“And you think now that I referred to you as such?” His tone was still gentle, but Jace didn’t miss the hurt in it. He also saw the pain in Magnus’ gaze. He closed his eyes. He hated to have caused the pain, he knew he had been unfair.   
“No, Magnus I don’t. But she does. She looks at me and sees nothing but a thing. A pet. A useless, unworthy thing.” Tears appeared in the corner of his eyes, which he blinked away furiously. Alec pulled him even closer. “You are not worthless, Jace. You are everything. To me. To Magnus.”

“Why does it matter what others think, darling? I don’t think about you like that and I am glad that you know that. Alec does not either. So why does it matter what a random scum thinks of you?”  
Jace sighed and shook his head. He knew why it mattered. It was time to face his inner demons. All of them. And therefore he needed to start at the beginning. 

“When I freed Alec, hell broke loose. I have never seen someone as furious as Malcom Fade when he found out what had happened. He instantly killed the guards who had let slip you away.” He nodded towards Alec. “He soon realized that we had the help of a warlock – and he was not stupid, so he knew it had been my suitor Merlon. He killed him, too. But slowly. First, he broke every single bone inside of him. Then he hacked away his hands and feet. Merlon was a bloody mess, begging for his death. But he didn’t kill him right then, he just let nature take care of it. He made me watch the whole show. Merlon’s pain must have been agonizing, but he kept him a wake the whole time. Then it was my turn. He started with braking my bones, the same order than he had done with Merlon. That’s when I realized that the same fate waited for me. When my bones were broken he made sure with magic that I stayed alive and conscious. He let everyone who was interested take me. And there were plenty, finally allowed to have their way with me. I was in so much pain, but they forced me on my broken knees to rape me anyhow. They even laughed about me. Somehow I must have passed out, because the next thing I remember was Lorenzo standing in front of me. To my surprise he hadn’t come to fuck me, instead he healed me and dragged me along with the other kids. Later I learned that he had killed Malcom for trying to use necromancy. Basically he saved me then, Malcom would have tortured me to death. But the relieve was short. Lorenzo was as sadistic as Malcom, but in a different way. He loved our collars but it was too less control for him. He was looking for the absolute power. 

From the beginning, he liked to show us our place. Not worth more than the dirt under his shoes. He also had “fun” with us kids, but unlike Merlon, he didn’t mind sharing. He used Sex to reward his people – and punish us. He was very creative when it came to combine sex with pain.” Jace paused, lost in his horrific memories. Magnus had settled down to Jace’s feet, taking Jace’s legs into his lap, to provide him as much comfort as possible. Jace was grateful that he felt his two boyfriends so close to him.

“When he discovered the evil rune – a demon told him about it – he was thrilled. He tried it at one of us kids instantly. But it didn’t work, the kid died, the pain too much to handle. But he tried again, changing small things in the process. The outcome was the same. The kids died. I don’t know what he made differently in my case, or if I just were different, but he succeeded. The drawing of the rune was similar to the agony rune, but what came in the aftermath was worse than everything I had to endure so far. He totally enslaved me. He enjoyed humiliating me. He treated me like a pet. He showed me off at every given possibility. Make me strip, lick his boots, suck him while he had meetings. Well, you have seen a bit. What was even worse were the things he made me do to others. He made me rape others. He made me kill others. Torture. And he enjoyed every second of it. After a while, nearly nothing from my old me was left. I just functioned. I mean, I didn’t have a choice but function. The feeling of the rune override your own will is something I cannot compare to anything. The emptiness it leaves behind. If it were not for the memories of you and your pendant, Alec, I think I would have been lost for good. Sometimes I don’t know how I can live with the memories of what I have done, of what I was forced to do to others. How you two can really love me.” 

He hadn’t noticed that Alec was crying until he felt his shirt getting wet from the tears of his lover. Alec grabbed Jace by his chin, gently but firmly, and forced the blond to look him in the eyes. Alec’s eyes were red and swollen, he must have cried through the whole story. “Don’t ever say that Jace. I loved you since the day I met you. I always will. And Magnus will too. It was not you who did these horrible things. All these things were done TO you, not BY you. YOU are worth anything. Anything!”  
Jace rested his forehead against Alec, trying to calm himself. “But what if someone does it to me again?” His voice was barely audible. With a small laugh he added “Can’t you just order me to not follow orders anymore, Magnus?”

What was meant to be a joke, caught the attention of the warlock. “Say that again. I think it kind of make sense”. Magnus made Jace repeat what he had said and explain to him again how the nature of the orders worked. When Lorenzo had ordered Jace to follow Magnus’ commands so many months back, Lorenzo still had the superordinate power over Jace. He had placed a general order which would have overruled anything Magnus’ had wanted if need be. Jace picked up on the way Magnus was thinking, and so did Alec. Together they were elaborating if this truly could be a solution to Jace’s enslavement. The collar and rune would still be in place, but without the power to harm Jace. 

“We cannot just order him to not follow commands anymore,” Magnus stated. “Sometimes following orders is the right thing to do and Jace would not be able to do it.”  
“Hell no!” Alec shuddered at the thought of Jace not following any orders anymore – in his life at the Institute it was crucial to follow them, to protect oneself and the others – especially when someone was as reckless as Jace. “But what if you order him to only follow his free will? So he can choose which orders he will follow and which not. Just as anyone else.”  
“That is genius, Alec” Jace eyes were glowing, his whole face lit up with excitement. “Do you think that could work? That it will do the trick?”  
“Yes I think it could. We have to try it out though. Especially to test out the case of, well, my passing.” Magnus stated.  
“You can sell me. Selling should pass the bond on to the new owner the same way than death. You order me to use my free will and then you sell me to Alec and we will see what happens.”  
“No.” The answer was firm but surprised Jace and Magnus both. “No Jace. You are mine in every way possible, but never like this. Please, don’t make me do that”. Alec was as serious as anyone could be. He really didn’t want to own Jace like that, how brief that moment might be.   
“Ok sweetheart. We will ask Ragnor then.”  
Jace trusted Ragnor, not as much as Magnus and Alec, but with both by his side he trusted Ragnor enough to make the deal. He would have preferred Alec, but he understood his reasons – and was really touched by it, too. 

First, they tried it with Magnus of course. As soon as Magnus had set up the first ground rule and spoken the words, he tried to order Jace to do something else. Jace waited for the usual pull from the rune to make him follow the order – but nothing happened. Magnus tried again with various commands, also a command negating the ground rule – but the outcome was the same. Jace felt no need to surrender to any of the orders. Then Magnus sold Jace to Ragnor. Ragnor also tried to give Jace commands – but also didn’t succeed. After several rounds he gave up and sold Jace back to Magnus – just to be on the safe side. But it had worked. Jace didn’t have to follow any orders anymore, he had regained the control over all his actions.

Jace just stood there, completely lost in awe and excitement. He was free. Finally, after all this years, he was free again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end - my longest fic so far, I hope you liked it. Comments and kudos mean the world to me so thank you for leaving them :-)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback and kudos are always welcome :-)


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